When your marriage is falling apart due to infidelity or any other betrayal, there will be nothing quick about the healing. It will take months and possibly years to reach an emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental place that feels anything close to normal. Understandably, the person feels the pain of the initial betrayal so deeply that the idea of taking the difficult steps toward wholeness seems like signing on for more pain.
And that’s not even the hard part.
The hard part is retraining your mind to do things differently this time around. Establishing new habits in your marriage as you relate to your spouse and others is an absolute must. Battling thoughts left and right as your spiritual enemy attempts to place obstacles in your way is par for the course.
Keeping a marriage healthy, even one that has not had a significant trauma requires training, maintenance, and goal setting. Doing what it takes when you actually feel like doing the opposite - that is what is required when you deeply care about something or someone.
Restoring a marriage requires two people who are willing to do whatever it takes.
This kind of restoration in a broken marriage doesn’t come cheap. In fact, it’s quite costly. It requires sacrificing every day, crying many tears, biting one’s tongue, choosing to place another’s needs ahead of your own, and enduring a lot of pain.
But it is possible. Chris and I are living proof. We’ve traversed a major minefield since that fateful, February day in 2002, and although we’ve had some setbacks and disappointing circumstances, we have come out on the other side and now are experiencing a vibrant marriage. We are truly better than new.
We continue to walk. One foot in front of the other. Holding each other’s hands and hearts as we go. Pressing into God and allowing Him to comfort us when we need comforting. Asking Him to change us in areas where we need changing. And begging Him to free us from things that hold us in bondage.
Take the next step and join us. It’s never too late for redemption.
We know that in all things God works for good with those who love him, those whom he has called according to his purpose. -Romans 8:28
But the Lord says, “Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago. -Isaiah 43:18